So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
