Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just want nice things and good sex
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
