She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
