boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
