Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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