it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
