Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
