the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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