...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
