my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
