I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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