what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
