Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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