Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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