the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
