Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
