I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
