Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
