is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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