He uses pillows to masturbate.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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