bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
