real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
