I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
