Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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