Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
