i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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