why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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