On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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