I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
