they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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