meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
