If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
