Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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