just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
