I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
