They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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