I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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