i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
