absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
