The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Never joke about your clitoris.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
