My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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