I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
What drink are we having for lunch?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
