Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
