U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
