I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize
