His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I wish you could order shots online.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
