Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
