You can't motorboat a personality
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
