so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
