someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
