Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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