he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
