it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
