careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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