Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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